See Me
by McGonagall's Bola
Summary: There's a difference between seeing, and watching. Horatio/Ryan CHALLENGE by Zeta Sigma -REWRITTEN!


**CHALLENGE**

* * *

"Mr. Wolfe?"

Ryan didn't take the effort to look over his shoulder, and eye the man to whom that voice belonged. There weren't many colleagues who called him this. In fact, the longer he thought about it, there was only one man who called him 'Mr. Wolfe' – the very same man that spoke in that deep, low roll and now eyed the much younger CSI ahead.

He merely continued watching the ocean, as the wind that came from the east carelessly blew through his hair. He quietly watched, as the waves rolled onto the beach, spume and soft sizzling originating as each one of them did. He barely heard the lieutenant move toward him. "Mr. Wolfe?" He repeated.

"H.," Ryan acknowledged, without giving him as much as a glance.

"Ryan, what's bothering you?" Horatio questioned, and leaned beside him on the rails indicating the end of the dike, and the changeover with the beach. The use of Ryan's first name finally earned Horatio a momentary sideway look. Ryan, however, turned his attention to the ocean again without saying anything.

"I have made so many mistakes…" Ryan finally uttered, as the silence between both men grew uncomfortable. "Today's been… I sometimes come here to ponder."

"So do I, sometimes," Horatio admitted, choosing not to continue on the mistake part. Horatio had long forgiven him, and he knew that the rest of the team had as well. "I occasionally come here to watch the ocean after some tough cases," he said. "It has something soothing in one way or another."

"Yeah," Ryan agreed. Many would see whatever existed between Horatio and him, as something so father-son, but that wasn't how he felt about it. He often saw Horatio as one of the few understanding him. He sometimes thought about how it would be like to come home to someone like him; to someone who actually understood him… understood what he needed. "I bet that you have had a lot of these in your time as a CSI, no?" Ryan asked.

Horatio nodded. "Yeah. Usually the ones that involve children are worse for me. Children cannot defend themselves. The fights that most of the child victims need endure are rarely fair." Ryan faced him, and Horatio's blue eyes connected with his. "Most of the time it is the fact we're not alone in this, but together with the rest of the team that gets us through every case. You're a member of that team as well, Mr. Wolfe."

It didn't actually fit. How could he feel like a member of the team, if you kept in consideration that everyone else of the team was being called by their first name, and he…not? He slowly turned away, and began walking in the direction of the Hummer he had come with. Horatio didn't follow, like he maybe would have guessed, and wanted. Horatio would wait, until he turned to him again. He continued walking straight ahead, but turned at him upon reaching the Hummer. "I'll never be a member of the team," Ryan said, barely loud enough for Horatio to hear him.

Horatio quietly neared, until Ryan and he were merely a few inches apart. He began toying with his sunshades, twirling them between his fingers. Ryan momentarily watched him do so, then looked up into those mesmerizing blue eyes. "You are," Horatio said.

"Then why doesn't anyone actually care? Why am I alone?" Ryan rhetorically asked, then raised a hand to emphasize the next point. "Is it because of the mistakes I have made?" He questioned.

Horatio carefully watched the much younger CSI, not saying a word for a while. Both men continued eying each other. This time, Horatio chose to deepen the mistake part. It appeared to be a rather big deal, to Ryan. He sighed. "No one is infallible. We all make mistakes in our lives, and some are indeed worse than others are. Some are…unforgiveable."

At that, Ryan's head hung, and without realizing what he was actually doing, Horatio reached to raise the younger man's chin so that their eyes were at level once again. "I didn't mean that your mistakes were unforgiveable. You have showed your good intentions. You have showed your…"

"Weaknesses," Ryan finished.

Horatio sighed once again. "We all have weaknesses, Mr. Wolfe."

At that, Ryan just couldn't contain it anymore. "How would you like to make me believe that I'm a full member of your team when it doesn't even seem like you see me, nor treat me like it, and all you do, is call me by my last name, as if you would like to keep me as far away as possible; as if calling me by my first name would get me too close? I never heard you call Eric by his last name, or Calleigh, or even Natalia! How would you like to make me believe that I'm not weak, when no one else of the team–!" "Ryan," Horatio spoke, rather loud, to make Ryan discontinue his rage of words. He sounded, and appeared very serious. "We all have our weaknesses, whether you would believe it or not. For instance, Calleigh's absolutely terrified of ants."

"You're not absolutely terrified of anything," Ryan uttered.

"I am," Horatio admitted. "I'm afraid of many more things than one might even imagine. One of the things I'm afraid of is that I'm no good enough companion to the men and women I work with, that sharing their burdens with me seems impossible. I'm afraid of not giving my CSIs a sense of trust, and security." At that, Ryan's eyes became calmer once again. Horatio noticed. "Because we aren't physically by your side, doesn't mean we don't care about you, or that you're alone. I'm here," he added, as a matter of fact.

Then, something happened that neither men would have guessed, nor be able to reason afterward. They hugged, and upon ending their embrace, their lips nearly accidentally met. No word was being said, nor when both of them took their respective Hummers to drive home for the day, and ready themselves for another one filled with homicides, and possible crime solving.


End file.
